Finding Finances in Seminary

When I began full time at seminary I was working full time as a general manager for a restaurant. Now, I have stepped down to being a waiter, and the school workload is much easier. But the stress in my family relationships (I have a wife and two babies) is still pretty high. Finances are really tight (frankly not sure where money to support my family will come from). And my lack of free time is starting to wear, I think. Any suggestions? I would love any thoughts.

Losing Faith at Seminary

it’s been a while since i posted anything…i guess it could be writer’s block…or just ennui about blogging…or simply that life has been crazy keeping a full time job, full time schooling, and a family to raise.

with that said, i wanted to write tonight.

i met a man the other day on my way home from work. it was a coincidental meeting. i was coming up to the train stop to go home and the metrolink dude asked for my ticket. this in and of itself is quite unusual. so i gave it to him and as i did he saw the book i was carrying and commented, “Baugh Oh i’ve read that.”

i found this a little odd, because not too many people read greek grammar books for fun. so i asked him why he read it, etc. i ended up deciding to miss my train and take the next one so i could chat with him. it was an unusual providential meeting, i suppose. he had graduated from seminary not too long ago and now is working as a metrolink guy. he wants to get into law enforcement, but nothing has opened up for him yet. this certainly was unique. he spoke a little about why he was doing what he was doing. he said that he had had a small crisis of faith and didnt feel he could shepherd people if he wasnt sure about things himself.

certainly understandable.

i told him a bit about the last couple years for me. they have been extremely difficult personally. i have been very down in the dumps. i found brief respite, but have again fell back into the blues. so i understand why a man could choose to quit what he believed he was called to do. i have felt the same from time to time. may genoito! (may it never be – in greek) i do desire to be full of faith and faithful. blessed be God because He is faithful when we are faithless.

Sonnet 1

Smiling, you have eyes that giggle with glee.
Frowning, I cannot bear the stare that sears.
Crying, your eyes weep with warm sympathy.
Laughing, you’ve melted away all my cares.

Outward appearance, emotions within.
Walking enigma, I cannot begin
To describe that I’ve forgotten your love,
That holy matrimony from above.

Return back the joy and turn back the clock,
Where at that fountain it did all begin.
No remnant of wandering at the dock
Can separate us by an ocean.

For weeping may tarry all the dark night,
But dawn brings new joy of which we alight.

Are we “The Condemned”?

i just watched a movie called the condemned. it was powerful enough to me that i wanted to blog, which i havent done in months. if you havent seen the condemned read the block quote below first….but if you have, then you know what i am referring to.

are we truly the ones who are condemned? sure, in this film, we might say that in this case the violence would be different (and thus worse somehow) than if it was a stereotypical violent flick. but the fact is, there are countless movies i can think of in which violence is glorified. yet, ironically, in this film it is condemned (to a point, not categorically).

so to the point, ARE WE THE CONDEMNED?

i think we participate in the violence every day when we cheer on the “good guy” who kills the “bad guy”. we demand the violence. the villain in this film (the guy who orchestrated the whole thing) says something very powerful. he says, “we as entertainers just give the audience what they want. we supply the demand for violence” or something along those lines. this is very true. we have created a demand for such violence in our films and in our lives. and in a capitalistic society, an increase in demand will drive someone to increase the supply.

anyway, for the last time, i ask all of us, ARE WE THE CONDEMNED?

‘The Condemned’ Reflects Real Life: People Are Disposable
by Sally Kohn

Later this month, “The Condemned” will open in movie theaters nationwide. In the film, a wealthy television mogul buys ten inmates from death rows around the world. He puts them on an island to kill each other, promising that the last person alive after 30 hours will be set free. The killings that ensue are then broadcast live on the internet, where the mogul hopes to draw a bigger audience than the Super Bowl.

Frightening thing is, in real life, he probably would. One woman who saw a preview of the film said her friend asked if she’d pay money to watch this happen in real life. She said she wouldn’t and her friend replied, “You are crazy. I would probably miss work to watch this in real life.” In her blog entry, the woman concluded: “I knew that everyone else in the theatre probably had the same mind set as him. Only confirming the movie’s premonition — streaming live internet deaths would probably bring in more viewers than American Idol on elimination night.”

Films and video games are getting more violent. One need only compare the most recent trigger-happy, thuggish James Bond in “Casino Royale” to his ancestors in “Dr. No” and “Octopussy” to get a glimpse of how extreme, cover-your-eyes violence has become standard fare in film. And don’t even get me started on video games. I once played “Halo” with my partner’s little brother. I had nightmares for days.

Perhaps it takes the unimaginable, ultimate violence of “The Condemned” to reveal our degraded “entertainment” for what it really is. The vast majority of violent films fall into the simplistic good guy versus bad guy paradigm, where the violence against the bad guy is only tolerated – or even celebrated – because he’s a bad seed. In other words, only by devaluing the life of those who are killed or maimed can we call it “entertainment”.

Yet the unintended brilliance of “The Condemned” may be that, in portraying a public hungry for live deaths, it holds up a mirror to real life. I fear many of us do think that those who have committed crimes, even violent crimes, are so worthless that it would be perfectly plausible to buy their lives for televised entertainment. They were going to die any way, right? Their lives were worthless. They were worthless.

This attitude on our couches easily translates to an attitude in our courthouses. Why should we spend money on public defenders? Why should we release sex offenders after they’ve served their sentences? We act as though these are the bad characters, irredeemable, as if God scripted them to be bad from the start.

should followers of Christ celebrate the 4th of July?

my wife and i decided to go to a fireworks show last night. unfortunately, after walking at least a mile to get to the St Louis Arch to watch the fireworks over the Mississippi River, we found our daughter didnt like fireworks. she started crying immediately when the started. and ironically, she was even crying while she was clapping. weird, huh?!

anyway, to the point of the post…

something my wife said last night was interesting. she asked me, “do you think celebrating the fourth of july is hypocritical for a pacifist?”

it was ironic, because i had been thinking of the same thing all day. can i, a pacifist, celebrate a date that led to violence and bloodshed over terms of disagreement between a few people? pretend for a moment that this has nothing to do with pacifism, but merely with being a follower of Christ. let us think about the reasons behind that famous date in 1776. it was a group of men who believed that the King of England had become tyrannical toward the British Colonies. therefore, because it is the inherent right of men to throw off heavy yokes, they decided to declare independence. the King (or really the Governor of the Colonies) took this as an act of treason and came with military force to put down the insurrection. a group of farmers decided to attack the British military forces at Lexington. thus began the Revolutionary War. we know the results, America was born and became a separate nation from England.

so are these actions (on the part of the “patriots”) to be lauded? for me, as a pacifist, i dont believe so.

i believe that we, as followers of Messiah, are to bring shalom, not war. we are to turn the other cheek. we are to submit ourselves to the governing authorities (of course, not if they command us to disobey God). but should we go to war-even if we are not of the pacifist tradition-over a heavy tax?

didnt Yeshua say, “render unto Caesar what is Caesars”?

so how can we condone actions of rebellion against the God-given ruler of our colonies when it was merely an issue of “taxation without representation.”?! the King had not commanded us to disobey God. he hadnt given us laws that required us to bow down to a golden image. so how can we rationalize the revolutionary decisions? i dont think there is rationale for beginning a war that led to many, many deaths over something like a tax.

hypothetically, what would have happened if we had remained under rule of the king? i am sure we would have turned out a lot like Canada. they gained independence, without bloodshed. they a democratic country. they are very westernized. although more socialized (and pacifist, if i may say so) than us, they are quite similar to our culture. why would this have been so bad?

so even without being a pacifist, should we celebrate a day that reminds us of our rebellion? should we remember a day that we chose not to love our enemies? should we remember a day that we chose not to turn the other cheek? should we remember a day when we decided to kill rather than to be burdened by taxation? should we remember a day that turned us against our brothers?

so i ask you, should we celebrate the fourth of july?